Weird funk

Lately, I've been in a really weird funk. Maybe it's nervousness over the anticipation of the new job I'll start in two days. Maybe I really have given up trying to find "Mr. Right". At a party Sunday, I once again met a really nice man (I'd met him a few months ago briefly). He is also really attractive, also really intelligent (Brown, MIT), also a rower. So I did my best to 1.insult him, 2. make stupid comments, 3. just generally was not even nice. How very hideous of me. I really feel embarrassed of my behavior.
It is also odd that I have not been exercising, eating too much, putting on a bit of weight. What for? I don't like to be unfit. I don't like my clothes to be uncomfortable - and I just don't like looking or feeling like this. It's like I just don't care about myself personally anymore.

Vivian is 60

One of my best friends, Vivian had her birthday today. Her son and mine were in the same grade, often in the same class at school together. We met while watching the kids at swim practice - sort of. I always wanted to jump in and correct my kids whenever they were not getting it and I really wanted them to love swimming, so I thought it in our best interests if I didn't watch too closely. So, I would go for lovely walks (jogs) while they swam. One day as I was about to take off, a small blond women asked what I went and did - I told her that I walked while the kids swam. She wanted to come, so we took off. She got out of breath really fast. We ended up strolling and talking. Next time, I brought hand weights to wave around while strolling. I found out during our talks that she is an artist. By the end of the swim lessons, she had me signed up for a watercolors class held in the evenings at the high school. She was teaching it. I had not drawn or painted at any time in the 12 years I was married. Watercoloring helped to get me through the divorce. We became friends. She is a good artist and a wonderful teacher.
Today, her son surprised her with a party at my home. I bar-b-qued chicken and pork ribs, double stuffed baked potatoes, and had cold champagne. Adam brought a gorgeous cake from the Cake Lady and golden balloons. He hung them at the mailbox and everywhere in the house. I had cut roses and other flowers as a centerpiece. Vivian was so surprised! She thought I had done it all, but I had to tell her that it was her son who did it, I was just host. She could not have been happier. It has been a good day.

A movie

I finally found "The Brothers McMullen". When it first came out in 1995, I saw it in the River Oaks theatre in Houston and loved it. Being of Irish decent (I think?) and having been raised Catholic, I saw bits of my three brothers in each of the characters. Some people don't seem to get the humor, I thought that it was hysterically funny and rented it several times after it was released. The last few years, I haven't seen it (maybe I'm the only person who ever rented it?). Anyway, while at Fry's, looking for headphones for my nephews christmas presents, I found a DVD of the movie and bought it! And, it was only $8! Lately, I have felt like the luckiest person alive - this was just the icing on the cake.