Location: Friendswood, Texas, United States

Friday, February 16, 2007

Life is supposed to be difficult at times - right?

I've hear forever that "everything happens all at once" or "bad luck comes in threes". Maybe it's so that we'll appreciate when things are better...but does anyone really? Or do we honestly believe that easy times are the norm, causing us to view trying periods as extra and temporary hardships. Maybe it's all a matter of perspective. Perhaps, if we viewed our lives as being normal when illnesses, money difficulties, employment challenges are engaged, then the easier times would be better appreciated and we'd be more thankful for our blessings...

My parents are a study in contrasts. Mom focus' almost exclusively on any negative event or word, if there is not enough unpleasant things in her own life, she'll dig up others misfortunes to let you know about regardless of whether you've ever met the poor individuals or not. Dad, who is the one suffering from cancer, has such joy in his life every day - even the dog looking at him with adoring eyes warms his heart... Do people consciously choose how they want to react to circumstances, thereby making themselves happy or miserable, or do their conditioning or genes pay a larger role in everyday happiness?

I feel like I want to be happy, but just feel sad a lot. I have so much to be thankful for, good kids, sweet pets, a nice house. Things are tough right now, but I know everything will work out in the end for the best, I just wish I knew when that is going to happen. Still...why does the car need major repairs and the cat approach his deathbed (running up enourmous vet bills) the week after I finally ordered new carpets to replace the 25 year old ones? Will I ever find "Mr. Right"? I'm beginning to believe I was meant to live on my own forever - to me, that feels so sad, but I've been divorced for 14 years... My father does not have more than a couple of years left, but then, he has lived a good life and no one can be around forever...I still can not bear the thought of him not being here or, worse, of him having to bear so much pain in the end. My co-workers have even mentioned that I haven't been myself the past month or so.

Maybe being sad about my dad's health just has me focusing on the other sad or negative things going on. Having just past another valentine's day alone, again, does not seem to help. Maybe it is just the time of year - short days, not enough light, too cold and wet to go outside much?

One really great thing is that my son seems to have found what he wants to do with his life and is working toward it!!!! Also, though my daughter was so homesick last semester, her second semester is going so well - school work is looking up, her rowing is improving by quantum leaps, and she seems to have found a nitch with her bible study friends there. They both are really happy.