How can I possibly be the parent of grown people? Helen graduated from high school yesterday. The whole weekend has been lovely. My parents, one nephew, one brother (not the father of the nephew) and his wife all came from out of town. After the ceremony, we all went out to eat at a restaurant on the water. We were joined by Philip (My son - yes he even suffered through the graduation; she had to go to his!), my cousins Lynn and Dennis, and Nancy's family. Nancy is Helen's second mom and the mother of Leslie, Helen's best friend. There were 18 of us in all - it was a nice crowd. In preparation, I took three days off of work to madly run around the yard, tearing up the gardens. The entry garden now has a rock path built with colorado river rocks and pebbles (can't kill those!), roses where the sun hits, a hugh crepe myrtle, clumping bamboo, ponytail palms, a hibiscus, ferns, aguga, impatients, and white bird-of-paradise. All the unhappy roses that used to be there have been moved to a new, sunnier spot where they will (hopefully) enjoy themselves more. Maas Nursery http://www.maasnursery.com/ and the Antique Rose Emporium http://www.antiqueroseemporium.com/ are dangerous places for me to go.... The yard and entryway did look nice. It just does not seem real that my baby is an adult and will be leaving next week already. Most parents at least have the whole summer to get tired of having them around!
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Coincidences?
I've been thinking of directions ever more... Helen really is graduating this coming Sunday and will be leaving for camp June 5! I was thinking about attending the Quaker church in town last Sunday instead of my usual Methodist one, but woke up with a Migraine. Again. Then in the afternoon, at the high school, there was a christian service for the graduates (baccalaureate). The "Friends" church preacher was the one chosen to speak! And his whole speach was DIRECTIONS! Could I have been run over by a larger bus? But, have I contacted them? NO. Maybe it's why I've felt so blah lately...Last week, I had an MRI done of my head. Some doctor who I never met and who hardly speaks English called to tell me that there is a 2mm "something" in the left side of my head that could be causing the migraines, but then he said that it probably isn't anything to worry about...at least that's what I think he said. Why didn't my doctor call? Why did they have someone who doesn't speak English well try to relay those kinds of results to me? 1. The taxing district re-appraised my house - I don't know how I'm going to pay more taxes...2. The house has termites - OK, not anymore (I hope), but still have to deal with the damage...3. The 5 year old Maytag dryer fell apart - yes, the fins on the inside of the drum actually fell off! That is three - won't it stop now!!!!!!!It is nice that my cousin offered to send her husband over to look at the dryer! And it's nice that somebody thinks that my termite infested house is worth lots - but I have to live somewhere and apartment rent isn't much less expensive than the note (not including taxes...hummm). Texas property taxes are a mess. None of this seems coherent, but then neither do I feel that way.
What next?
I suppose that I'm just in one of those ruts in life. This past Saturday was our rowing clubs regatta. It was a really fun, well run event. Breff was there - he'd married last month on April 8th and now wears a gold band on his left hand with Celtic designs. His new bride did not come. I don't know which of them chose the band, but it is a perfect design for him. I know that I am not the right person for him, but can't help wondering why he seems not very happy. He says it is because he has yet to find work, but he never really worried about it before. It really shouldn't be any of my concern. Even though for the last five months, I have the best job I've ever had, I've somehow managed to make it a not so nice environment to work in. I'm not even really sure how. I feel that I try to do what is best for the project, my department, and university. But other people misinterpret what I've said or what they've heard second hand. I acted in accordance to my supervisors requests, but somehow got blamed for doing the wrong thing. Perhaps I should only do what is in writting...it seems such an awful waste of resources, but I do not want anything like this to happen again ever. While I was working on my daughter's graduation invitations this afternoon, we discovered a massive termite colony - in a picture hanging on the wall - then in the wall behind it!!!! GROSS!!!! A really good cry would be so nice, but tears just won't come. I feel almost numb...like why does it have to be so hard. I have many blessings: my children (who are almost gone), a job(that has gone from being perfect to dismal in two weeks), a home (that is infested with termites) - many people have much less.
