going nowhere fast

I got the news today that someone else is better suited to the research position for which I applied. I was hoping that a new career would help get me out of the overwhelming sense of "I do not picture myself doing this in 20 years, so what should I be doing really?" Maybe somebody is telling me that virology is not the way to go... I was also hoping that since it promised a much better salary, I wouldn't feel like drowning when I consider not just the bills I have now, but the ones that will grow when H starts at UVa next year.
Yes, that is joyous news that the coach has told her that she has one of his eight guarenteed spots. But, had she chosen Syracuse, her college would have been fully funded. Who put this big "sucker" sticker on my head when these children were born - and why didn't they implant one on their father?